This will be the title of my first e-book, I'm sure of it. Or maybe it will be How To Crochet a Rug As Big As Your Street. I'm frankly undecided.
I have decided that the tediousness of measuring every piece of fabric for a quilt makes me want to hurl or fall sleep (maybe at the same time). But I've also decided that the color baking of quilt making makes me weirdly happy.
I will need to embrace being a lifelong Mediocre Quilter.
I will not be able to embrace the perfect corner, the crisp edge, the quilt that folds up non-weirdly. I will never receive eye contact in a quilt shop from ladies whose color wheels are made of cardboard and whose coffee mugs have flying geese patterns embossed in mauve and slate blue tones. I will never be invited to explain to anyone how to decode a pattern or organize a Bee. I don't think the Quilting World would even likely trust my whipstitch. [mental note: look up what a "whipstitch" is on wikipedia later].
And, even though I knew this about myself the minute that I began quilting, I still might need to write these sad realities down on a piece of paper and concoct an elaborate grief ceremony that would involve koolaid and sand and banners. And pie. And pictures of cherubs. And burnt sticks.
In the meantime, I will continue to produce mediocre quilts. I will continue to handstitch them on occasion (as I did with this one...while camping...while sitting at the beach...while talking to friends...while eating chips). I will rip quilt squares out of old sheets while sort of eyeballing them for same-ishness to each other.
And I will continue to use old fabric that other people thought should be sent off to the glue factory.
Also I will continue to purport that yellowy gold is the color of God when he's happy and content.
And also, even though I will not in the foreseeable future be invited to lecture on quilt making, I will continue to wag my lips here to you about it.
And that's just how it all is.
Oh--and this i's the quilt I'm making out of three old sheets and some scraps that I took apart from a quilt top of upholstery samples that my great grandmother handstitched together and that I will use inside my NewOld Trailer and that will likely be backed in flannel and edged with an orange and yellow sheet my friend just found for me at a thrift store.