wienerdog tricks.

Dear Tara (About Your Ottoman Questions),

Tara the Faithful Reader asked a good question about my last post:

 

Do you have a pattern you went off of ? . . . I have an ottoman DESPERATELY crying for a face lift (or should I say a cover-up)!

Here are my quick thoughts about making straight-line projects like ottoman covers.

I think the trick for these kinds of projects is to try to think of them like they'd be if they were flat--not 3D anymore, but 2D. Or this: I try to think about how a thing would look if it were filleted, like a fish. If I see it flat, then I can think about how to put it back together. 

 (This lovely image from www.sandysteelheaders.org)

The ottoman is really just two long strips sewn together (one's the bottom gathery one; one's the long flat one) that are then attached to a square (the top of the ottoman). I literally threw fabric over my ottoman and cut the piece out just a little bigger.

1. One big square: check. 
2. One long flat one for the sides--then cut into 4 that match the widths of each side and sewn back together so it makes the corners nicely.
3. One (even longer) flat one that you then pleat for that looks. (I just fold it under as I go on the machine.)
4. Attach the to long ones together.
5. Then sew those two joined strips to the square--which is really just four straight lines with some turns in the middle.

No pictures for this, but maybe that helps. Sew on, Friends! And remember: everything can be filleted and then re-constructed. Hazzah!

Thing for Me #2: Scrambled T-Shirt Scarf

A Sew Sew Selfish Month Update

K. This isn't a tutorial because if you're a monkey with a pair of scissors and a piece of bone and some thread, you can make this. (Um, rotary cutter with ruler and sewing machine are handy, though, I won't lie.)

Step #1: Find old t-shirt that you keep in your drawer because you love but you never wear because it has some weird stain on it or it rides high or it's just very 80's and looked cute in the 80's but you really shouldn't wear anymore but you can't make yourself throw it away. Get that t-shirt. In fact, get a couple of those if you want it long-ish, or just one if you want it short-ish like mine.)

 

Step #2: Cut it up into 6 inch squares. (Hold on to the squares that include the finished bottom edge of the shirt(s).)

 

Step #3: Scramble the squares like you'd like them.

 

Step #4: Sew the squares together all funky--with the seams showing on one side, then the other, like that. Sew them in pairs, then sew the pairs together longways.

 

(Note to the perfectionist: you'll have the best luck if you line up the middles, then sew out to the edges)

 

 Step #5: Sew the finished bottom edge pieces to the ends.

 

 

Step #6: Show off.

 

See? I told you you could do it. And if you get stuck, just email me--or find a monkey, give him a pair of scissors, a piece of bone, some thread and an old shirt and see what he does.

 

Yes, we should remember. But we don't.

A few weeks ago, I invented this. In my mind, I mean. I was driving and thinking, Wouldn't it be great if I could get an email reminding me when I was going to fall headlong into the PMS Pool of Irrational and Unattractive so that I wouldn't have to panic every month? Then I thought, EVERYBODY NEEDS THIS and then I start writing the business plan. It was only going to take a small bank loan to get the thing off the ground.

Then I found out that somebody else thought of it.

 

This happens to me a lot.

 

There's a HITCH though, because the Somebodys who thought of it are apparently of the non-PMS-experiencing persuasion. That is, they're a bunch of somebody's boyfriends. And they've devised their site as a sort of Weapon of Mass Self-Defense. As in, "Find out when your girlfriend's PMS-in so you'll know why she's such a hag!" and "Don't be caught off guard!" and "Dude--know you'll why she's just that way!" 

 

Well, that's my translation.Here's their actual pitch:

 

 

I find this both highly annoying--and yes, I have Bonafide PMS as I write this and they would say that's why I find it so annoying but that is NOT why I find it annoying because if they were actually women they would know that you're never annoyed during your pre-bleed days by things that wouldn't normally completely annoy you it's just that you're actually able to SAY how annoyed you are and to FEEL more deeply than usual what you would otherwise already feel and it's not because we're hormonal that we feel these things we would feel them anyway.

 

Let's just say that PMS Buddy is not my buddy. . . plus I'm afraid of the junk mail I might get if I sign up.

 

But I need a reminder because every month I have a tiny little self-reflective breakdown about why I am the way I am. And to actually remember that this is hormonally induced would be terribly helpful.

 

So here it is, girls, a tutorial with the likes of Us in mind: Set Yourself Up a Personal Email PMS Reminder So You Don't Think You've Lost Your Ever Lovin Mind or That You're Always This Fat or Angry: A Tutorial.

 

For reals.

Gardening Apron. You need one.

So I made this gardening apron for a sweet friend and it's turned out to be one of my favorite aprons ever. C'mon. How cute is it anyways? Yeesh.

It's, of course, made from just scraps, really. The main panel is from a seriously-old piece of oil-cloth-ish material I thrifted; the ties are still-yet more fabric from my re-do of the army parachute pants; and the pockets are off a pair of my son's blown-out jeans.

So I've put together a how-to so that everybody can share in the gardening apron good times. Just click over here: Easy Peasy Gardening Apron.

I've made a small stack of gardening aprons (like this one for my friend who really wants to be a flower farmer) from that wonderful book A is For Apron--which, if you don't already own or haven't checked out from the library yet, you really should. It's loads of fun. 

I've liked them, but found the pocket trickier than somebody just starting to sew would probably want to mess with. And I'm partial to the wrap-around-the-front tie. And also, I like to cut up and re-use clothes. So, this is my version. Kudos to the other one too. 

Plus--how fun is it to use old jeans? Especially in a way that maybe doesn't scream I USED OLD JEANS (which is always my beef about projects that use old jeans.) This little number is the perfect storm of Refashion and Scrap Use, my two favorite Sewing Categories.

Go make one, eh?

Jumping in the Tote Bag Tutorial Swimming Pool

Okay, I know there are already about three gazillion tote bag tutorials, but I just feel like jumping in the Tote Bag Tutorial Swimming Pool and splashing around for a bit. And I feel a real calling to spread the news about old polyester. It's like a calling for me right now.

I've put together an easy-to-follow tutorial for how to turn some of this (that double knit stuff you're always passing over in the thrift store fabric bin):

Into this:

It's the best-ever fabric for making tote bags: sturdy, easy to sew and just sort of happy in general (can't get enough of those patterns, myself). 

For a play-by-play tutorial on how to make this tote, click right on over to my 37-MINUTE POLYESTER REVERSIBLE TOTE TUTORIAL. It's really easy, lots of fun to make, and the perfect project for big thrifty scraps. I think you can pull it off in 37 minutes. If you're like me and have to work in 4 1/2 minute stretches of uninterrupted time, then it might take a whole evening. Still, it's quick and super do-able.

Go do it. You'll have a good time.

P.S. To add to the fun, I'm offering up this very tote for Sew Mama Sew's big May Giveaway Day, May 27th. Click here to get the scoop about all they're giving away over there next week, and come back over here next week for a chance to win this superific tote for yourself.

P.S.S. We just got a real friendly shout-out over at Craft Gossip. Go check them out. It's like finding a secret room you never knew about in your favorite store over there: full of good stuff, surprising and like a really good moment in your day.