You need a reminder. You're not alone. We all do. And sure--we have THOSE friends, the ones who know exactly the date of their last period and therefore their last bout of Real Live PMS. They get to the Dr.'s office and don't even hesitate before filling out the date on that question. They make themselves tea and watch 80's movies at the same time every month because they know that Self Care Is the Best Medicine.
Yeah, I have those friends too. I'd really like to be more like them. But I'm not.
I'm the girl who--at the exact. same. time. every. month.-- starts eating large beany burritos with extra sour cream and guac, drinking vats of Coke, and plotting new ways to try to EXPLAIN to my husband, children, neighbors, friends and any strangers I may come into proxemic contact with how very WRONG they are about EVERYTHING.
And it always seems so real. So intense and true. And inevitably leads into a surge of reflective blather that lands me in tears (at best) or in a mute pile (at worst).
I just need to remember when it's going to hit so I can plan for it. Maybe you're like me. If you are, try this--get yourself a friendly little personal reminder so that even when you're falling to pieces you'll at least know WHY.
STEP #1: Go to Google Calendar
Just click right here. This isn't the only program available (if you're a mac user, you can use these basic directions to set your reminder up using iCal; if you're a PC user, Outlook has this basic function too) but it is something everybody can get their hands on for free--even if they don't own their own computer. (Handy in that way.) [You will have to sign up for Google's gmail to do this. But it's free too. Click here to do that first.]
Tell Google your basic info--remember you're just telling yourself this stuff. Nobody's going to start trying to sell you Midol if you write it down:
This is what it will look like:
STEP #2: Set Up Your Reminder and Give It a Name
First, click "Create Event" (it's on the upper left hand corner of the screen.) When you click it, then you'll go to this page:
Then, it really is just a matter of filling out a few lines and you're on your way to a more Informed Version of your former Bewildered State. First, give your email a name. Mine is called "Gonna Get The Evil." You might want to call yours "Direct Hit"; " Plan On Being a Nightmare"; "Every So Slightly Irrational Today"; or, if you're a good-hearted person who's been in a decent amount of therapy, "Be Nice to Myself Day." You get the idea.
STEP #3: Do Your Personal Math
Enter the date that you think your PMS will hit and check "All Day" (because, let's not pretend.)
Then click the pull down menu next to "Repeats." I recommend choosing "Daily" because it's got the most flexibility.
I'm on a straight 28 day cycle. (I know: how can I not remember when I'm going to get my period, and therefore when I'll start to experiencing the totally predictable symptoms of PMS? This is not something I want to TALK ABOUT right now.)
Maybe you're a every 34 day girl. You've got choices here. Choose what matches your pattern.
STEP #4: Write an email to yourself
Filling in the "where" is easy. It's the email that's tricky. Should you be kind? Alarming? Straight-forward? I opted for, "You're going to feel like a batty, crabby fool. Everybody you know will seem idiot-ish. Strangers, especially, will seem like they ought to just GO AWAY."
I'd say you're just about set. One last thought. DON'T, um, forget to choose "Private" under the Privacy choices. I mean, c'mon. Then press "Save" so that the whole thing works.
You did it, girl. At least now when you're ready to yell at strangers--in that odd role of Insecure World Dominatrix--you'll know what's up.
